In the past year I have talked with a number of good Catholics interested in spiritual direction. Almost every one of them expressed a feeling of being unworthy of a priest taking time out just for them. One woman said, "Why would a priest spend time with a nobody like me?" Now, mind you, this woman recently fought through some very difficult challenges and converted to Catholicism in spite of them. She is an exemplary person who is actively seeking and submitting to God. However, she still feels unworthy.Her struggle reflects things within her that are good, and some that are obstacles. The good is the honest recognition that before God and holy men and women who have consecrated their entire lives, we rightly feel a bit unworthy. We are fallen creatures after all. On the other hand, the worst of us still bear the image of God. Each person on this planet was specifically brought into existence by God. He desires a relationship with each one - this includes you.
If we struggle in the same way, we should mediate on the parable of prodigal son. We should see ourselves as the prodigal and God as the father. He longs for our return and regardless of the level of depravity to which we have lowered ourselves, he eagerly waits for us. Then, the second he sees our hearts turning his way, he opens his arms. He not only offers us forgiveness, but heaven and earth begin to rejoice with our returning.
Turn to him and those whom he has consecrated to serve you to him. He has provided priests and consecrated in order to help you come to him. Don't deny him when he has given so much for you. He is eagerly waiting for a deeper relationship with you.
If you are ready but struggling with your next step, respond to this post with a question, or email us and we can talk off line.
Blessings to you as you seek Him!
I don't mean this as a comment -- although it's OK if you publish it -- but as a plea for some help whenever you find the time.
ReplyDeleteAs a man of 53 who spent nearly three decades emerged in sinfulness, I returned to the Church and repented of all my sins in 2000.
That said, now I find I might need spiritual direction because I suffer from advanced heart disease, and although my relationship with God is good, there are things that make me wonder.
One is, that after having engaged in recreational drug use before my reconciliation, I now have to take an anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication because it is all tied in with my heart problem, supposedly. And, having grown closer to God, I feel I should be able to leave these drugs behind; but I tried at the beginning of this year and it only led to anxiety and panic.
In all, I feel that to be closer to God, I need to get off the drugs. Could you address this on one of your upcoming postings or contact me at Emiltx56@yahoo.com? I'm very glad to have found you. I feel God might have brought me here.