Tuesday, February 10, 2009

- Marriage Spirituality Part I - Are you helping your spouse to heaven?

As a fitting subject for Valentines week, we will begin a series of posts on the topic of "Marriage Spirituality." Here's the first...

Are you helping your spouse to heaven?

When my wife and I were going through marriage preparation our mentor couple said something to us that we have never forgotten, "your primary role in marriage is to help one another to heaven." It was a striking comment that seems so obvious now but at that time, it was a completely new thought.

It's a funny thing - I don't think it is hard for responsible God-loving adults to have this thought about their kids. We instinctively know that God has placed these souls specifically and purposefully in our care. Even with the "Theology of the Body" informed understanding that marriage is fundamentally an act of the complete giving of oneself to another - this idea of specifically bearing responsibility for one another's spiritual growth and destiny was captivating to both of us.

The good news for us is that we started our relationship out on the right foot. When we began the discernment process for marriage we purposed to pray with one another regularly. Though we both instinctively wanted to do this, the idea was daunting because of the level of intimacy it required - the level of unique exposure that only prayer with someone whom you care about causes. Regardless of the initial discomfort, we set out on the course and have maintained it unwaveringly (yes, even after arguments). Our mutual spiritual commitments are in fact, the most powerful source of the strength of our marriage. It has carried us through a few very difficult periods and has resulted in Christ remaining at the center of our relationship even when he was not always in the center of our own hearts.

So, I leave you with this question. Are you specifically, purposefully, and regularly helping your spouse to heaven?

In Christ, Dan and Stephanie


  1. Great topic for a series! Very relevant and necessary for strengthening couples' relationships - to God, each other, their family household, and beyond!

  2. Thanks for the thoughtful article! Unfortunately, my wife and I have a divided Christianity. I have returned to the Catholic Church, but my wife, a former Catholic, remains an evangelical Protestant with a moderate anti-Catholic bias. We don't pray together, and she only attends Mass with me very infrequently. Due to protestant "individualism", she asssumes slavation to be a "once and for all finished event", so she does not see the importance of this topic. I, however, agree with the Church in that the sacrament of our marriage consist's in helping each other attain eternal life in Christ. Please keep us both in prayer!


Dear Friends - If you wish to submit a question to Father John, please see the "How can submit a question" post for guidelines. Your comments and feedback are more than welcome!