Friday, February 13, 2009

- Marriage Spirituality Part II – Daughter of the King

Though monarchies are rare these days, my wife is actually the daughter of a very wealthy King. One of the great benefits of this relationship is that he has expressed in no uncertain terms that he loves me and my family and that we will always be welcome in his care. The challenge is that he is also a very powerful King. Though he is benevolent and kind, I do live with an extra sense of caution regarding how I treat my wife. I know that her father is always aware of how his daughter is feeling about our relationship and my care for her.

In order to properly and consistently remind myself of who’s daughter I married, I often address her as “Daughter of the King” or “DOTK” for short (especially when we correspond via e-mail). This reminds her that I hold her in proper high esteem. It also reminds me that she is not just another woman, but that she is of noble stock and is worthy to be treated as such. Her Father, her lineage, the image of the King she bears in her person, and her lofty position with the King, helps me to be ever aware of the need to treat her like the princess she truly is.

As you might suspect, I am not speaking here of a meager earthly King, but of the great King of the Universe; the one who created and sustains all life, all matter, all being, heaven, and hell. Even more ominous is that this King – who truly does know my every thought, intent, and action toward my spouse, can effortlessly and at any moment withdraw the gift of life and bring me face to face with my final judgment.

Now, it is important to note that I love my wife deeply, and am highly motivated by that love; she is an incredible woman and obviously designed by God specifically for me. However, my higher motivation, the one that transcends all earthly and temporal impulse, is to honor the King of Kings; to conform every aspect of my life to Christ, who condescended to become man, lived a perfect life, suffered, and was crucified on my behalf.

Husband or wife, both are made in the image of God. Both, as St. Peter says, are of noble stock, “a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation..” The one whom God has entrusted each of us in marriage is a precious gift in God’s sight. The care of their souls is as serious a charge as one can ever receive in life. This most holy responsibility between man and woman must have as its foundation a total self-giving to one who is of royal lineage, and for whom the King has shed his own blood.

Do you see your spouse as a precious child of the King of Kings? Acquiring and living this vision of who we really are is the beginning of the necessary love and reverence required to launch us into the high calling of helping our spouses to heaven.

In Christ, Dan


  1. Dan,
    That was beautifully stated. It reminds me of a book I read " The Last Straw" written by another LC Priest, ( can't recall his name now) but in the book there is a prayer or rather a letter from God to husbands that is meant to remind us that our spouse's are a special gift from God and the love we have for our spouse comes from God.
    I think I will start referring to my husband as SOFTK.
    God Bless!

  2. Thanks Tima - it is a very powerful and motivational way for me to look at Stephanie. We have also taught this to our teen son (he reviewed the text before it was posted). I think this concept is more important for men - boys. I think the ladies have a more natural nurturing spirit about relationships.


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